When I tell people I am a Tantric Sex teacher, I am met with A LOT of questions.
“Oh, I know what Tantric Sex is. It’s when you don’t have sex and just look at each other, isn’t it?”
“How does anyone find the time to have sex for 8 hours straight?!”
“You must go through so many candles and incense, right?”
“I’d like to try Tantra but I hear it takes, like, years to study it?”
“Doesn’t your partner freak out with all that weird, hippy stuff?”
Little side note: I have never had sex for 8 hours straight. EVER.
Today I want to debunk a few of my favourite myths about Tantra and get super real about why I am convinced that ancient Tantric teachings can offer so much to our modern relationships, sex lives and overall wellbeing.
So what is Tantra?
Tantra is a spiritual practice or framework for living, which opens up opportunity for more connection, mindfulness and love in all aspects of our life. Tantra, a sanskrit word meaning ‘expansion,’ was born out of India more than 5000 years ago and is one of the only spiritual pursuits that celebrates sexuality. In fact, Tantra promises enlightenment to those who cultivate and celebrate pleasure and ecstasy, instead of avoiding it. It sounds pretty fun already, doesn’t it?
So what is Tantric sexuality really about and what can it possibly teach us that we don’t already know? The answer is A LOT.
Tantric sexuality offers the keys to the most mind blowing sexual experiences you may ever have by providing tools that allow you to tap into a greater range of orgasmic potential than you thought possible.
However, whilst orgasmic pleasure is awesome, another main purpose of tantric sex is to expand and prolong the physical, energetic, psychological and spiritual connection between two lovers. It’s about raising individual and collective consciousness through cultivating and raising sexual energy.
And while sexual energy can feel out of this world incredible and can induce some pretty mind-blowing experiences and even trance like states, we really want to focus on cultivating love and reverence for the person with whom we are sharing the experience.
Tantric sex is viewed not as a sin but as an art form; a practice in which we playfully and patiently develop as a means to deepen intimacy, pleasure and love.
Here a few of the most common myths surrounding Tantra.
Tantra is not simply reserved for ‘conscious vegan couples’ who mediate daily and have matching OM tattoos on their wrists. The beauty about Tantra is there is something in it for everyone. These ancient teachings are a freaking goldmine of bliss inducing tips for the modern day couple. In fact, we ‘city’ people need this more than ever as we become increasingly distracted from our partners (and love making) when caught up in the chaos of modern life. In fact, it’s people who have never heard of Tantra, done yoga, or meditation that I find reap the best benefits of a few basic tantric tools!
Oh, there is sex! Mind-blowing, trance inducing, love exploding sex. There is emotional, cry your eyes out sex, giggle fit sex, primal ‘up against the fridge’ sex. You get the full glorious spectrum of a sexual smorgasbord. It’s all about ‘how you do it’ not ‘what you do’. When you infuse an intention, reverence, love and connection into sex, it is pretty much Tantra baby!
Yes it’s true, a ‘typical’ tantric love making session does require more time than say a Friday night quickie but then we talking about soul expanding sex here. Think of it like a meal. You can have ‘fast food’ sex or take the extra time to prepare the most exquisite, delicious meal of your life. It comes down to how you want to spend your time, watching The Bachelor or making the time to create the most incredible erotic experience with your partner. When you begin to explore Tantra, trust me, your priorities begin to change! So does it take too long?… No way! In fact, you may discover more time warming up, connecting and playing in this new wonderful pleasure zone is just what you needed in order to experience more profound orgasms.
You are your own best partner. In fact, solo Tantra offers endless opportunities for sexual growth and an expansion of self-love, not to mention incredible healing! I believe everyone should have a great understanding of their own sexual selves before they go into a partnership.
To me a little Tantra goes a long way when it comes to creating and sustaining wonderfully intimate and juicy relationships not only to another, but also with yourself. Tantra provides the missing link that so many people are craving in their modern day partnerships: the desire for connection, presence, honour and deep love. Not to mention, the ability to really be seen by a partner and to feel safe enough to go into state-altering pleasure, and the chance to have your heart cracked wide open with love.