It’s natural to want to test out your ideas and thoughts with other people and, for some personalities, that’s the most effective way of working.
This only becomes a problem when you recognise you’re giving a greater importance to the thoughts and opinions of others than yourself.
The danger of relying on external validation is that other people see the world through a different set of filters to you.
Our perspective of life is affected by our nature and the experiences we’ve had, so no two people see the world exactly the same way.
By not trusting your own intuition, you run the risk of:
If you don’t pay attention to your ‘gut’ feeling, you stop being able to recognise the physical and emotional signs that can guide you to the right decision.
Relying on another person’s opinion of your ability to achieve something can take away from the ‘why not me?’ attitude that builds confidence.
Searching for feedback on your ideas from many people can be confusing and create more indecision.
Instead, try trusting just a few people you respect and who matter the most to you.
If you are unsure about a decision you need to make, it can feel very confusing and stressful and result in you procrastinating.
Remember that making the decision is the important part —whatever the outcome is, you can cope with it.
By not trusting in yourself, you send a message to your brain that “you’re not good enough” or “your opinions aren’t as valuable as others.”
This has a negative effect on your self-esteem and confidence.
Next time you want to run an idea, a report or a decision past a friend or colleague, just ask yourself:
“Am I doing this for genuine feedback or because I’m having a self-doubt wobble?”