Are you seeing a pattern?
Choices that reflect very similar romantic partners and dynamics to what you saw and witnessed in your parents relationship?
Are you repeating your parent’s mistakes?
And do you think you will ever be able to break free from the mould and reinvent your relationship, your way?
Don’t settle for less than you deserve in your relationships.
Here are our tips for avoiding the same relationship as your parents…
First and foremost, it’s important to identify the mistakes you think you’re repeating.
Awareness can shift mountains.
For example, if your parents were not supportive of each other’s goals and dreams, maybe you are attracted to partners who do the same by questioning your direction or are intimidated by your success.
Alternatively, your parents may squabble over simple matters and perhaps you see yourself doing the same.
By identifying the patterns perpetuating in your relationship, you take the first step to creating a more fulfilling future relationship.
Now that you’ve identified the relationship patterns you don’t want to mirror, it’s time to break free from the mould.
What patterns and habits are you ready to relinquish?
Grab your journal and make a list.
Do you may want to let go of your controlling nature?
Your lack of trust? Or your need to always be right?
Review your list and then ask yourself what type of healthy relationship habits you admire and want to reciprocate in your romantic relationship.
Do you want to embrace the idea that relationships take compromise and be open to negotiation?
Do you may accept the fact that you don’t always have all the answers – that you and your partner are human – and that it’s perfectly okay to be wrong sometimes?
What words do you associate with love and relationships?
Grab a pen and paper and write at the top of the page: ‘Love is….’
Fill in the blanks and become acutely aware of the vocabulary you use.
Then flip the page and do the same on the back by writing ‘Relationships are…’
What do you notice? If heavy words like hard and challenging are on your list, it’s time to change your vocabulary.
Do the exercise again and write down words, which describe a healthy, happy and fulfilled relationship.
By creating a new love vocabulary and practicing using your new words, you’ll be surprised by the changes that will occur.
You may start attracting potential partners who mirror your new vocabulary!
Now is the time to let go of any judgment you have toward your parents or yourself.
They did the best they could with the knowledge they had and you too will do your best with the awareness and knowledge you have.
Now that you recognise the relationship patterns and habits that don’t work for you, you can celebrate your own unique vision of love and create the fulfilling relationship you desire.